Pandas, Polar Bears, and Pumps, Oh My!

Save the Polar Bears...
Do you have a minute to listen to Eco-Oregon?
Lets love Pandas together!


These are the phrases I heard today between classes. Three different petitioners approached me during the same 5 minute stretch between buildings, and I wasn't even on the Park blocks.

Sure I agree with your cause. Our societies are destroying the environment that humans evolved with and are not doing much to change it. That being said, put some signs up on campus or something, but do not flock towards me as I walk to my lecture. Where is your class, and why are you not in it, Mr. Clipboard? Why would I possibly be on campus to do anything other than sign the same form that I was confronted with yesterday?

I have not looked into if you get paid or not, Sir Signature- Stealer, but if you do wouldn't that make this venture quite pointless? Your wages should go to saving those poor animals that you admire so much, not into your pocket.

Now, how do I personally find my way through the maze of eco-advocates? I fake text. That's right, they force me to pretend that I have a highly important message that I HAVE TO TYPE WHILE WALKING. This is ridiculous- I should not change my habits for your abrupt slogans that interrupt my walks. Yes I could keep my head held hi but that is a ridiculous notion to consider if walking the death zone on the Park blocks....

Heading towards the student union you see almost a half dozen classic young Portlanders standing in near vicinity, sometimes talking like they are just students meeting up on a random corner. One catches your eye and all the sudden the gang of them perk up. Telepathically they tell each other to get into formation, cutting off all angles and in different planes. If you walk past number one and turn them down, then either another cause pops up from the group or the stare down ensues. The meaning of, "have a nice day," after you turn them down is too loud, too happy, and too fake.

You are killing polar bears and pandas.

This guilt follows all around campus. One of these days I should either say I'm already on the list or use their same stare down that means "you are killing my soul with your endangered stares" and proceed to kill them with my NOT endangered stiletto pump clad foot.